Daily Options Report

I figured since he's no longer dazzling us with his Award Winning options advice, I'd let Lenny go. But hey, some posts just write themselves (especially when you cut and paste Reuters).

It is a six-bedroom, eight-bath mansion that was once vandalized, littered with beer bottles and dog feces, spewed raw sewage, and close to being deemed a biological hazard.

And it can all be yours for $14.9 million.

Lenny Dykstra's southern California mansion has been put on the market, six months after the former star center fielder for the New York Mets and Philadelphia Phillies Major League Baseball teams filed for bankruptcy protection.

Dykstra, 46, bought the 6.7-acre Thousand Oaks, California property from hockey legend Wayne Gretzky for about $17.5 million in 2007.

According to court records, there are $14.28 million of liens against the property, including $12.9 million owed to Washington Mutual, now owned by JPMorgan Chase & Co.

A lawyer for Dykstra was not immediately available for comment.

Last month, a company hired by the trustee said it had spent tens of thousands of dollars to improve the condition of the home, which was built in 2002.

"The house was left by Mr. Dykstra in an unshowable state, with raw sewage escaping from the main drain line left undone," wrote Brian Dubois of American Holdings & Land Inc. "The home was littered throughout with empty beer bottles, trash, dog feces and urine and other unmentionables."

OK here's my question, after that list, wtf qualifies as an unmentionable? Did Pee Wee Herman pop over to watch some movies?

And how can this story not have a tragic ending?